For the past dozen years I have camped in my tent at car shows. I have camped at the Norfolk Mini Owners Club show at Fakenham Racecourse, the BMC/BL day at Peterborough and the 2011 International Mini Meeting in Switzerland. Part of this experience invariably involves rain.
The final straw was the 2013 International Mini Meeting at the Mugello race circuit in Italy in May. I had looked forward to this event for months. Taking a 1990 Mini Cooper all the way down to sunny Italy and experiencing glorious driving conditions and weather. I packed two pairs of shorts, numerous T-shirts, two pairs of lightweight canvas shoes, three pairs of trousers and a coat. I took along my best shoes for eating out on the journey to and from the Mugello site.
On the Thursday we were due to arrive at Mugello, I was part of a six Mini convoy, we encountered torrential rain on the autostrade. In fact it was so bad that stopping would have been a saner option, the conditions were positively dangerous and I had a nasty moment aquaplaning in a tunnel. We arrived at the circuit to be told that the pre-planned camping for the various Mini clubs was all up in the air. The ground was so waterlogged that it was every man or woman for himself. The clubs that had got in first had seized the solid ground.
We entered the site and selected an area to camp, all this in driving rain. We erected our tents, while our repeated walking on the same patches of grass turned it into a muddy, slippery quagmire. The rain continued well into the Friday. My jeans were caked in mud, the rain got in everywhere. I had to use my best shoes to walk the Mugello site.
A change of trousers followed, but it was not long before they were muddy too. On Saturday my colleagues went to Pisa, but I spent the day showing our own Keith Adams around the Mugello site as the rain had abated for a while. Keith had wisely stayed in a hotel where he was able to enjoy such luxuries as dry clothes and warm showers.
In contrast I was living in a mud infested environment where damp and I were intimate acquaintances. After spending Sunday morning with Keith, we packed up ready for our journey to Milan and a hotel. As an act of resolve, I put my tent in a bin at the circuit. Never again would I camp at a car show. If we had stayed any longer we would have contracted trenchfoot.
I said goodbye to Keith, who himself was threatening to camp, I never found out if he did, and we drove to Milan. In the hotel I put my best shoes under a hot shower to get the mud off and they are still drying off. I had to wear my canvas shoes instead and they soon became damp because of the intermittent rain. I did not have dry feet for five days.
The weekend after we returned to the UK, the Norfolk Mini Owners Club had a camping weekend at Fakenham, including two long car runs. The weather was glorious. But I drove too and from the event. Camping is not for me. As soon as I erect a tent, the heavens open. Fresh air and the outdoor life might sound like a good idea, but for me the reality is dampness everywhere, mud and squalor, of never having the right clothing available. The next time I want to stay overnight somewhere I will book into a hotel. It might cost more, but I think it is a price well worth paying to be warm and dry and clean.
The best place for a tent is a rubbish bin.
Is the Editor of the Parkers website and price guide, formerly editor of Classic Car Weekly, and launch editor/creator of Modern Classics magazine. Has contributed to various motoring titles including Octane, Practical Classics, Evo, Honest John, CAR magazine, Autocar, Pistonheads, Diesel Car, Practical Performance Car, Performance French Car, Car Mechanics, Jaguar World Monthly, MG Enthusiast, Modern MINI, Practical Classics, Fifth Gear Website, Radio 4, and the the Motoring Independent...
Likes 'conditionally challenged' motors and taking them on unfeasible adventures all across Europe.