So, what do think of the news, eh? Yer man has returned to where he belongs and I have an immobile old banger cluttering the drive so, from a personal point of view, as far as AROnline is concerned nothing’s changed for me but it’s good be back to the old routine once more. Welcome back Mr. Adams.
That’s the sycophantic twaddle out of the way… what’s occurring with the Maestro? Well, apart from ‘er indoors moaning and groaning like a Lego brick trapped in the hoover every time she draws the curtains and takes in that marvellous view of gold paint, rust and shocking panel gaps… I’ve been a little busy. With little warning the wiper linkage decided to dissolve like a Junior Disprin during a commute in the rain that resulted in the wipers sweeping with a comedic albeit wonky sweep – complete with obligatory clonking sound. The rain came down like an Indian monsoon so it was an about turn and a jump into the cosy world of the 75 for my evening commute.
Some exchange of communication with former Editor Craig Cheetham secured a secondhand item from up North, so the Maestro was “up on blocks” until the postman came knocking. In true AROnline fashion the long box arrived a couple of days later and there was a 50/50 chance it would be the right part – and guess what? It wasn’t. The ball joints that secure the linkage to the wiper motor were wrong and there was no alternative forthcoming in time for the BMC/BL Rally & Spares Day at Peterborough – I switched the kettle on and had a long think about working a way round this.
Sadly, my local breakers, G.W. Bridges of Pease Pottage, are unusually right out of life-expired Maestros and a couple of calls to some contacts of mine also drew a blank. I then thought I could splint the badly corroded and snapped linkage with a part of the incorrect item that was sent down. With some A-Team incidental music tinkling in the background, I rustled up a working repair in the shed and then offered it up to the car – wahey, it worked. So if you have a problem, and no one else can help, and if you can find me… maybe you can hire The AROnline Team (replace machine gun sound effects for those of a backfiring Marina)
Wipers working once more, I turned my attention to the interior panel lights. This was a rather cheeky little fault that’s bound to make any driver chuckle with laughter at night – the dashboard went pitch black if you ran over a pot hole and then came back to life if you hit another. The rheostat was knackered – so, with a little tinkering, I have got the dash lights to stay on full brightness until another can be found. Also of note is the now functioning fibre optic column stalk illumination, a cigar lighter that no longer flies out and sets fire to the carpet and a fully working bank of switch illumination, too.
The steering wheel that was almost 1/4 of a turn out of alignment has now been corrected and it was good to notice the factory torque marking to confirm it had never been removed after leaving Cowley. As you can guess, prior to the fettling, a Maestro at night with on the cock steering, a facia that flickers on and off like a dying fluorescent tube allied to a blowing exhaust is only marginally less traumatic and sickening than being mugged in Soho at knifepoint. The blow is coming from the front pipe and the best I have managed has been to quieten it down a touch.
Only one annoying problem remained and that’s its twelve mile warm up period – no good for the engine or fuel consumption. My laser temperature gun shows that the radiator warms up at the same rate as the engine – obviously, this proves that either the thermostat is missing or stuck wide open. I recall buying one about 10 years ago and after turning the shed over it was found in one of my many boxes of odds and ends – complete with gasket. To digress for a sentence or two, I reckon all the accumulated new old stock parts I have could go some way to assembling a complete car. Saying that, you would probably need to paint a mental picture in a similar vain to the Johnny Cash classic – One Piece At a Time.
Despite copious dousing with releasing fluid, one of the M8 bolts sheared clean off and, after getting the stat housing off, the thermostat was indeed stuck wide open. As it stands at the moment, the housing is soaking in a tub of diesel mixed with releasing fluid and a soupcon of hydrochloric acid in the shed – it’s quite a pungent smell too and I have placed biohazard placards on the door to keep the cat out*. Later, I shall attack it with punch drift and a big hammer – and, if that fails to work, I guess I’ll have to see if I can remove the sheared stud from the thermostat housing.
Will the Maestro make the BMC/BL Rally and Spares Day in Peterborough this coming Sunday? You’ll have to pop along to Ferry Meadows to find out!
[Editor’s Note: * Regular AROnline readers can rest assured that Stella, the workshop cat, came to no harm.]
Moving on to Rover and then PSV / HGV, he has circumnavigated most departments of dealerships including parts, service and latterly - the showroom. Mike has owned all sorts of rubbish from Lada to Leyland and also holds both Heavy Goods & Public Service Vehicle licences, he buys & sells buses and coaches during the week. Mike runs his own automotive web site and writes for a number of motoring or commercial vehicle themed publications
Latest posts by Mike Humble (see all)
- Blog : Tony Gothard, a connoisseur of Bangernomics - 28 April 2018
- Coffee-break memories : Camp Freddy - 15 April 2018
- History : Rover 75 and MG ZT DVD Project – can you help? - 7 March 2018